Horst Krupps.

Diesen Freitag, den 7.10.2022, werde ich den Gig von Robert Carl Blank in der Komisse in Wolfenbüttel besuchen.

Obwohl Roberts Musik nicht unbedingt als traurig zu bezeichnen ist (er spielt eine Mischung aus Blues, Rock und Pop, die keinesfalls als düster bezeichnet werden kann), ist es ein trauriger Anlass, da es der erste Bluenote-Gig seit dem Tod meines guten Freundes Horst Krupps sein wird.

Horst war einer der Gründungsväter und Präsident des Musik- und Kulturfördervereins „Bluenote“ und seine Abwesenheit belastet uns alle schwer.

Mitte der 90er traf ich Horst zum ersten Mal im Kelly‘s, dem legendären Irish Pub in Wolfenbüttel.

Er half hinter der Bar aus; ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob er dort arbeitete oder nur aushalf (meine Erinnerung an diese Tage ist – gelinde gesagt – aus verschiedenen gebrauten und destillierten Gründen verschwommen).

Er war ein geselliger Typ, der handgemachte Music mochte und gern getrunken hat und somit war es selbstverständlich, dass wir gute Freunde wurden.

Ich muss sagen was mir an Horst am besten gefallen hat war, dass er Menschen nie aufgegeben hat.

Wenn er dich in sein Herz aufgenommen hat, war er immer auf deiner Seite.

Jede gute Tat, die man in der Vergangenheit für ihn getan hat, wurde von ihm nie vergessen und er zahlte es einem zehnfach zurück – egal wie groß oder klein diese Tat war.

Während meiner Zeit in der Blues-Band haben uns Horst und sein Bruder Norbert auf Trapp gehalten und wir haben etliche Gigs als Support-Band gespielt.

Nicht weil wir gut waren (ganz im Gegenteil: unsere Gitarristen waren sehr fähig …
der Schlagzeuger war leider eine Niete), sondern weil wir Freunde waren und sie uns auch finanziell etwas helfen wollten.

Das werde ich nie vergessen.

Einer der Jungs kam gut zurecht und war nicht auf Taschengeld angewiesen um durchzuhalten. Der Rest von uns freute sich über ein bisschen zusätzliches Geld (und nicht zu vergessen die Getränke und das Essen bei jedem Gig).

Zu dieser Zeit hatte ich wirklich mit Geld zu kämpfen, doch die Gigs halfen nicht nur, um meine Rechnungen zu bezahlen. Ich hatte gerade zwei schlecht bezahlte, arbeitsintensive Jobs für einen Fahrjob im Stahlwerk aufgegeben und mein Selbstvertrauen war auf einem historischen Tiefstand.

Diese Jobs mit niedrigem Lohn trotz hohem Arbeitspensum hatten mir unmissverständlich gezeigt, dass alles, was ich in der Armee gelernt habe, in der realen Welt nichts bedeutete.

Ja, ich habe zwar Arbeit als Zivilist mit der britischen Armee gefunden als bewaffneter Sicherheitsdienst in Hannover und Paderborn und in einer Werkstatt für Baumaschinen in der Lüneburger Heide, aber außerhalb dieser Organisationen war ich auf mich alleine gestellt.

Meine Fähigkeit englische Wartungshandbücher zu verstehen und mein Training im Umgang mit Schusswaffen bedeuteten absolut nichts.

Ich würde auf absehbare Zeit ein ungelernter Arbeiter sein. Diese Erkenntnis – die sich etwa im März/April 1999 während der Arbeit in einem Bauunternehmen gebildet hatte – verfestigte sich immer mehr.

Zwei Jahre später hatte ich immer noch nichts zu bieten, hatte keine Kontakte in der Region, in der ich lebte, und ehrlich gesagt fühlte ich mich ziemlich wertlos.

Von Typen, die ein Ohr für Musik hatten, ziemlich regelmäßig gebeten zu werden, mein Schlagzeug für ein zahlendes Publikum zu spielen … das war ein echter Schub für mein schwindendes Ego und bedeutete mir viel.

Ich habe nicht darüber gesprochen, ich meine, wer will sowas hören, oder? Aber jetzt, wo Horst weg ist, ist mir aufgefallen, dass ich ihm eigentlich nie gesagt hatte wie gut diese Zeiten für mich waren, wie viel ihre Unterstützung für den Cellar Blues Club damals in meinem Leben bedeutete.

Horst und Norbert hatten uns die Möglichkeit gegeben, ziemlich regelmäßig zu spielen, der Bluenote Club und ihre Freunde hatten sich wirklich für unsere Sache eingesetzt und ihr Lob für unsere Band war manchmal so schwärmerisch, dass ich mich fast wie ein Hochstapler fühlte … aber es war so schön, wenn einem applaudiert wurde. Schön und gut für mein seelisches Wohlbefinden.

Bei einem Gig – und ich glaube, es war das einzige Mal, dass wir Headliner waren – im alten Schloss in Wolfenbüttel, kam kaum jemand. Der harte Kern der Vereinsfans kam, aber niemand von außen. Wir waren alle ziemlich niedergeschlagen. Doch anstatt sich über die schlechte Beteiligung zu ärgern und lautstark zu äußern, nahm Horst die Schuld ganz allein auf sich.

Öffentlich erklärte er auf der Bühne, direkt vor dem Publikum und den anderen Bands, dass er unser Konzert wissentlich für einen schwierigen Abend gebucht hatte: drei andere Events fanden am gleichen Tag in der Region statt und so sei es offensichtlich gewesen, dass außer den Club-Stammgästen niemand kommen würde.

Das war, kurz gesagt, Horst.

Nachdenklich, beschützerisch gegenüber seinen Freunden und ehrenhaft. Wie viele andere Promoter hätten vor einer Menschenmenge gestanden und den Mangel an Besuchern auf seine eigenen Schultern genommen? Nicht viele. Deshalb wurde er so bewundert, war der Kitt, der den Club anfangs zusammenhielt, die Anziehungskraft, die Künstler aus aller Welt dazu brachte, für Bluenote zu spielen.

Der Club hat sich seitdem weiterentwickelt. Er ist jetzt wirklich eine gut geölte Maschine und ich staune immer wieder über die Professionalität und das Engagement, die Vorbereitung und Durchführung jedes Live-Erlebnisses.
Obwohl Bluenote in sicheren, kompetenten Händen bleibt, werden Horsts Einfluss und sein Name ewig weiterleben.

Bei mir sowieso.

RIP Horst.

Du fehlst uns allen, Alter.

Horst Krupps.

This Friday, October the 7th, I’ll be attending Robert Carl Blank’s gig in the Commissary in Wolfenbüttel. Though Robert’s music isn’t exactly what you’d call mournful, (he plays a mix of Blues, Rock, and Pop that can in no way be labelled sombre), it will be a sad occasion.

This is down to the fact it’ll be the first Bluenote gig since my good friend Horst Krupps passed away.

Horst was one of the founding fathers and the president of the music and culture promotions society, “Bluenote”, and his absence will weigh heavily on us all.

I first met Horst at Kelly’s, the legendary Irish pub in Wolfenbüttel, in the mid 90’s. He was helping out behind the bar, not sure if he worked there or just helped, (my memory from those days is hazy to say the least, for various brewed and distilled reasons), but he was a sociable bloke who liked handmade music and a bit of a drink, so obviously we became friends.

Anyway, the thing I liked most about Horst was he never gave up on people, if he welcomed you into his heart, you were locked in forever. Any good deed you may have performed for him in the past, he remembered, no matter how big or small that deed might have been, and it would be repaid tenfold because that was how he was. That said, woe betide the man or woman who pushed him too far, who mistook his good heart for weakness.

During my time in the Blues band Horst and his brother Norbert kept us on the books, and we played quite a few gigs as support band. Not because we were any good, (far from it, though our guitarists were pretty tasty. The drummer was sadly a deadbeat) but because we were friends and they wanted to help, give us a payday.

I’ve never forgotten that. 

One of the lads was doing alright for himself and didn’t rely on any pocket money to keep him going, but the rest of us were glad of a little extra cash, (and not to mention the free drinks and food that was always on offer)

To be truthful, at that time I was really struggling with money, but the reality is those gigs helped in more than just paying the bills. I had just left working two low paying, labour intensive jobs for a driving job in the steelworks, and my confidence was at an all time low. Those “low wage, high work-rate” jobs had shown me in no uncertain terms that everything I had learned in the army meant nothing in the real world.

Yes, I had managed to find work in the army system, as armed security in Hanover and Paderborn, and in a workshop servicing plant machinery in the Lüneberger heath, but outside of that organisation I was on my own. My ability to read English servicing manuals, my training with firearms, they meant absolutely nothing. To all intents and purposes, I would be an unskilled worker for the foreseeable future, and that realisation, (which had taken root around March/April 1999 while working in a building firm) had steadily grown.

Two years later and I still had nothing to offer, I had no contacts in the region I lived in, and to be honest I was feeling pretty worthless. So being asked to play my drums for a paying crowd, on a pretty regular basis by guys who had an ear for music, was a real boost to my flagging ego and meant a lot.

I haven’t spoken about this, I mean, who wants to hear it, right? But now Horst is gone, it struck me that I’d never actually told him how good those times were for me, how much their support for the Cellar Blues Club meant at that time in my life. Horst and Norbert had given us the chance to play pretty regularly, the Bluenote club and their friends had really championed our cause, and their praise of our band, of my playing, was so effusive sometimes that I almost felt an impostor… but it was so nice to be applauded. Nice and good for my mental well-being.

One gig, and I think it was the only time we headlined, was in the old castle in Wolfenbüttel and hardly anyone turned up. The hard core of the club’s supporters came, but nobody from outside, and we were all pretty down about it. However, instead of being vexed and vocal about the poor turnout, Horst took the blame on himself. Publicly, on the stage in front of the audience and bands, he explained he had booked us on the same night as three other events in the region, and so it should have been obvious nobody but the club regulars would have turned up.

That, in a nutshell, was Horst. Thoughtful, protective of his friends, and honourable. How many other promoters would have stood in front of a crowd and taken the lack of attendance on his own shoulders? Not many. This was why he was so admired, why he was the glue that held the club together in the beginning, the attraction that drew artists from all over the world to play for Bluenote.

The club has evolved since then, it really is a well-oiled machine now and I constantly marvel at their professionalism and dedication, their preparation and execution of every live experience.

However, make no mistake, although a large part of Bluenote may have departed for quieter fields, his shadow, his spirit, his influence and name will live on.

Well, he will with me anyway.

RIP Horst

Napoleon, my part in his downfall.

Waterloo.

Once, in another life, I lived and worked as a soldier. I never saw war, never shot in anger, never faced a vicious foe, I simply did my job and blithely lived for the weekend, as every other soldier of that era did in the 1980s.

Every regiment had its own special battle honour, which is a public affirmation of how well that regiment performed at a certain battle, and June 18th is Waterloo day for my old mob, 1st the Queen’s Dragoon Guards.

On that eminent day of days, old Dragoon Guards around the world raise their glasses and toast The Regiment, while the regiment itself holds a parade, and generally mucks the lads about as they wait on in the Sergeant’s and officer’s messes… actually I have no idea if they still do that, but we used to. Whatever, I digress.

One of my small but select clique of ex QDGs in Germany, a certain Martin Ruscoe, thought it would be a good idea if we, the unofficial old comrades of Wolfenbüttel, also celebrated the regiment’s finest hour, and so we did.

The first gathering was somewhat poorly turned out, with five of us making the effort, (including the barman, who was also QDG). However, the celebration went on from strength to strength, and our best attendance had nigh on seventy people travelling over from the UK and various places around Germany.

So why is that?

Why do people travel over from Britain for a weekend in Wolfenbüttel?

To find the heart of the matter, one has to delve into the history of the QDG Wolfenbüttel “experience” itself.

I arrived in the advance party in March 1987, and to 20-year-old Reggie Jones, it was like heaven on earth. Beer was one Deutschmark a bottle or can, (at that time, one Pound Sterling was about three Marks twenty), the clubs and pubs stayed open until the next day, the German people were genuinely friendly, and the closest RMP unit, (Military Police) was in Hildesheim, fifty kilometres away. We had our own bar in the town, the city of Brunswick was a quick 20 KM jaunt up the road, and at that time Germany literally was the land of cheap booze. It was a constant party, interspersed with work during the daytime.

We did sport during working hours, were paid to go adventure training, (rock climbing, canoeing, hiking, skiing), the cookhouse food was good, the Naafi prices a wet dream, and the atmosphere and camaraderie in the single accommodation was everything the young soldier could wish for.

Yes, there were idiots and dickheads, but they were soon sorted out.

QDG left Wolfenbüttel to be posted to Tidworth in 1991, (I think) and with their leaving, the golden age of The Cold War Quaffer came to a close.

The Warsaw Pact was slowly breaking up and so Britain introduced Options for Change, and a whole raft of other money saving schemes to slowly cut the cost of our military. The camp at Wolfenbüttel closed its gates to British soldiers in 1993, and then underwent a change of image as asylum seekers and students were housed there, and the tank parks were transformed into classrooms, cafes, and shops.

So, fast forward to 2012. After the initial failure of our first five man gathering, Martin and the chaps decided to plough on with another Waterloo Day the year after.

Why, I hear you ask?

Because any reason for a get together should be followed up with, that’s why. Friendships can so easily be lost, connections to episodes in our past are so often relegated to half memories and faded polaroids, and if there’s a legitimate reason to follow up on those times of old, then why not? Especially when there’s beer involved.

…And if we’re going to get together, then why not at a place that was seen by many as the best armoured posting in Germany?

2013 saw a marked increase in attendance, and the “day” was transformed into a weekend, with a meal on the Friday, a BarBQ on the Saturday, and various trips arranged on the Sunday, (which I never made once due to the curious and consistent poisoning of my last pint of the Saturday exertions, rendering me incapable every Sunday…). The event went from five blokes quaffing to a rook of visitors camping and staying in hotels all weekend. It’s safe to say that every year has been marvellous up to now, (even the, “sad five drunks” night).

This last weekend I had to unfortunately fit in the merriment between working shifts. The firm I work for is decimated by illness at the moment, and my planned three-day holiday was cut to one day, and an early knock off on the Friday. However, it was still brilliant.

We spent a lot of our time, and money, at the Stadtkeller in Wolfenbüttel, also known as The Asia Haus restaurant, which has slowly become the regular meeting place for these extravaganzas, and the staff were fabulous. Always smiling and, up for a laugh, and yet professional and quick with our drinks. This weekend they were presented with a regimental plaque which now hangs in pride of place in the bar.

The BarBQ is now a regular thing, and Steve and Claudia who run the football club where it’s held do a remarkable job. We turn up, half cut and starving, and they lay on a spread you could feed a regiment with. As ever, I doff my cap to these two and their professionalism. I know I couldn’t do it… for various reasons and all involving weak willpower and temptation.

And lastly, my friends. Brothers who I see and am in contact with on a regular basis, and the brothers who I haven’t seen in decades. Reconnecting in the blink of an eye, it seemed like the last time we met was last week, whereas for some it was in 1991.

I used to say the worst decision I ever made in my life was joining the army, the second was leaving it.

However, after weekends like the last, I don’t think that statement is actually true. We never knew what we had in Wolfenbüttel, and it was only after we left it that we realised.

But, isn’t that always the case?

Lee “Gunny” Medway

This Thursday we say good bye to someone I’ve hardly interacted with since 1998. In fact, the last time I physically met with Lee, or Gunny as I knew him, was three years ago at a reunion of fellow quaffers, of which I’ll come to later.

These last twenty years or so Gunny hardly ever made any effort to stay in touch, and when he did it was either to extract the urine about me being Welsh, or to curse Liverpool, (my footy team of choice). He scorned the cavalry, being a proud ex infantryman in the Devon and Dorset Regiment, (9 years) and always thought Heavy Metal, (the music I used to play when I first met him) stupid.

However, from April 1998 to March 1999, we shared a flat and had the absolute best of times.

I worked in Sennelager during the time I knew him, having moved from the Lüneberger Heide to play in a band, make money, live the dream etc etc. During the daylight hours though, to pay my rent and support my family before stardom hit, I stood on the gate at Dempsey barracks, with a nice 9mm Browning and a smart blue uniform, and controlled access to the camp. Gunny turned up a few months after me and we were paired off as a team.

Because at that time I was reliant on a mate to find me accommodation for the days I spent in Sennelager, (my wife and kids were still in Wolfenbüttel, a two, two-and-a-half-hour journey away), Gunny mentioned he had a spare room and if I wanted, I could use that. I was relieved as I used to literally phone up another mate, (Ads, the guitarist in the band) and ask him where I was sleeping for the next couple of days. To have my own room, just around the corner from the camp, was a weight off of my shoulders, and it was in the flat that I really came to know my oppo on the gate.

Gunny never once asked for rent money, although he was skint himself. We shared food, but he liked to clean, saying that I never cleaned up properly, typical Cav, always sloppy, not like the infantry, etc. etc. etc… Everything had its place and that was that. We once held a beer tasting afternoon in the flat and the cleaning operation after the drunken devastation lasted for days. Luckily I went home the next day and missed out on the scrubbing. 😊

His cooking skills were limited to say the least, and that’s coming from a bloke who, if he lived on his own, would exist solely on toast. However, he knew his limitations and wanted to improve himself. Once he asked me how to make Chili, which along with curry is the only thing I’ve ever had any interest in making. I told him, fry the meat with some oil, add some spices, while that’s frying, make the sauce blah blah blah.

“Easy peasy,” said I.

“Right, you go to drums, I’ll make us some Chili,” said the Gunnster.

Sorted.

I returned a few hours later and Lee met me at the door like a house-proud mother, complete with apron.

“Go shower, it’s all ready.” He said, and I did.

I sat down in “my chair” and he brought in a steaming bowl of gorgeous smelling Chili. I remember being absolutely ravenous and almost drooled at the sight of it, I couldn’t wait to slurp it down. The first spoonful was too hot, but even as I felt my oesophagus disintegrate under the piping hot flow of spiced minced meat, I sensed a peculiar texture to its consistency. For the second spoonful I took my time, and again the Mexican chowder, though tasty, felt … well, slimy!

“Gunny, how much oil did you use, mate?” I enquired, hesitantly.

“Not much, about three quarters of the bottle, there’s still some left,” he replied nonchalantly, spooning the broth of death down like the hungry man that he was.

I stopped eating, disappointed, and explained to Sennelager’s Jamie Oliver that he’d put way too much oil in, and we should go for a pizza or something. However, my delivery was short on tact and the Infantry bloody-mindedness, that same stubbornness that had seen foot soldiers fight on through the Somme, Rorke’s Drift, and Waterloo, kicked in.

“You can have a pizza if you want, too hot for you is it, Welsh poof? Can’t handle it you big girl’s blouse? F***ing cavalry…”

Gunny ate his bowl, then mine, and the rest in the pan later on while we watched a film. I didn’t go for a pizza, I made some butties. Later on, around two-ish, I heard Gunny dashing through the corridor like patient Zero of the zombie holocaust on speed. He crashed through the toilet door and I literally heard, from my room, his bowel evacuation hitting the porcelain like a high powered water cannon on some rioter’s bare skin. The jet was relentless and I silently saluted his sphincter muscles that they’d held back the flood for so long.

Full of concern, for the toilet as well as my wing-man on the gate, I called through,

 “I f***ing told you!”

“F*** off you sheep s****ing W*****” he shouted back. The man was a legend.

Gunny was also one of the original members of the Paderborn Chapter of NO MA’AM, (National Organisation of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood). Due to his unrelenting military bearing, Al Bundy’s cosmic influence, and the fact that we had learned to recite lines from the film “Heartbreak Ridge” backwards, Gunny was promoted to Sergeant at Arms within our ranks. The Sergeant at Arms was responsible for discipline, parades, marching offenders and recruits in to be interviewed or punished, and anything else we could think of that had any martial orientation.

NO MA’AM meetings were strict, any and every infringement of the rules was punished by a round for the Brothers. This meant infringements outside of the pub, in everyday life, as well. So, as you can imagine, living with Sergeant at Arms Gunny Medway was like living in a military base behind enemy lines in Vietnam. Our ID card, a waterproof, credit card sized document with your name and the NO MA’AM logo on it, always had to be with you, no matter what. The casual greeting in the street didn’t involve a friendly wave and smile, it was a mad grab for your card, within the ten second timeframe allowed, or you’d be grassed up at the meeting and end up paying for a round… and in extreme transgressions maybe even be put through the “Grimace of Disapproval”. Gunny grassed me up all the time. Yeah, the French Foreign Legion had nothing on us when it came to Draconian authority.

I’ll never forget bursting into the bathroom while Gunny was having a shower, waving my card like a lottery winner shouting “Ten seconds, ten seconds!” Without blinking, he silently reached around and pulled his card out from between his buttocks, told me in no uncertain terms where to go, and then carried on showering. Git.

We had so many good laughs that are hard to put down in writing because nobody would really understand them unless they were there. The day Gunny, Ads and myself only had money for beer, but were hungry and in the fridge there was one Aldi pizza between us. When it was ready, we told Gunny to put the Tabasco on it while we checked something out in the kitchen, and so he emptied the whole bottle on one ten-inch pizza. One whole bottle on one ten inch Pizza, think about it. Talk about test of manhood! I mean, Tabasco isn’t killer hot, but it was absolutely saturated; imagine drenching a sponge in Carolina Reaper juice, and then sucking on it, that’s exactly how it felt.

We managed it though. 👍

Or when Gunny, Ads and myself completely ruined a film night in Limericks by quoting the dialogue as it played, in unison, from start to finish. Heartbreak Ridge had long figured in our daily conversation and we used to test each other on the gate for quotes. So when Gar mentioned the Limericks film night would be showing, “The Ridge”, we had to be there. At first people laughed at our script recital choir, but after a while the disgruntlement began to show. By the end everyone hated us, and yet we felt like heroes having recited the film word for word right up until the end. HURRAH!! Even Brother Gar behind the bar was impressed.

Or the time he came to my place in Wolfenbüttel for the weekend and we ended up doing a seventeen-hour drinking session. He was allergic to cats, which made him sneeze continually. When we arrived home, poisoned and hammered, he sneezed and nearly had an accident round the back of his trousers. I couldn’t laugh though, I’d earlier had a spontaneous dribble in my waterworks, (whilst walking!) that I couldn’t explain. I looked down to see why my jeans were suddenly warm and saw to my horror a darkening around my crotch area.

“You’re f***ing pissing yourself, boyo,” Gunny noticed casually. He could make the word, “Boyo” sound like he was saying, “Arse”.

Unfortunately, in my addled state I couldn’t remember how to stop the flow. When I did finally control myself there was an embarrassingly large inky patch in my Wranglers. How drunk must we have been? I was just glad I had the sneezing squitter story as ammunition if ever he decided to tell anyone… which he did. Obviously. 🤦‍♂️

He also loved films. Faves to quote were “Heartbreak Ridge”, (obviously), “Twin Town”, “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels”, and “Platoon”. I also saw the first X Files film at his place, though it never made the reference list. The quotes themselves would be dropped into everyday conversation, and to the casual observer, it must have bordered on insanity.

Me: What’s for tea?

Lee: Hotdogs for tea, boys. (Twin Town).

Me: Oorah. (Heartbreak Ridge)

Lee: It’s been emotional. (Lock, Stock.)

Me: Take the pain! (Platoon)

Lee: Fantastic Jeremy. (Twin Town)

Etc. etc. etc. Like I said, to the casual observer, absolute twaddle.

He was into Oasis, (a band I hated), Lara Croft, (unashamedly telling everyone he had finished the game, but saying nothing about using the cheats on every single level), Man United, though he came from Plymouth. To be honest, we had nothing in common except the job and a love of stupidity, and yet it grieves me now he’s gone that we didn’t stay in touch.

When I left Sennelager we lost contact.

This was before Facebook and WhatsApp, when the only contact was an overpriced SMS, a telephone call, or a letter, so it just never happened. I suppose we could have made an effort, but blokes are blokes, once you have nothing more in common with a mate, and you’re not in the immediate area, friendships tends to wither. Now and then we’d meet up if I came down, but he’d found other buddies by this time, and I was more interested in music than stories from The Gate. The bottom line is we had all moved on. I heard he was a father, then I heard he’d binned his job. When we did manage to meet up he always left early. The last time I came to Paderborn for the NO MA’AM reunion, I bugged him to be there. In the end he said he’d come to shut me up, but he didn’t.

Then a couple of weeks ago, June13th to be precise, I was told that he’d passed away. Later I was to find out it was a stroke. Not yet fifty and yet taken by a stroke. Gutted.

Gunny, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you these last twenty years, but we just moved on brother. I hope that where ever you are, you’re at peace, listening to Oasis, calling my music f***ing crap, and flicking the Vs at Liverpool and Wales.

Like Rhah said to Chris, “If there’s a heaven, and God I hope there is, I know he’s sittin’ up there drunk as a f***in’ monkey and smokin’ shit, cause he done left his pains down here.” (Platoon)

 

RIP Sergeant at Arms Lee “Gunny” Medway.

Gone, but impossible to forget.

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Bernd Czerolka

Bernd Czerolka

 

Recently we bid one of our small family a final sad farewell. Bernd Czerolka, aged 75, passed away in the early evening of 12th of September, 2018, in the nursing home he was staying at in Wolfenbüttel.

There was a small gathering of very close friends to bury his urn, and to be honest, nothing much else. No crowds of wailing, sobbing mourners, no hymns or choirs, no drunken wake after, just us, the family; quietly paying our last respects to a man who had helped us all at one time or another. It seems that all we have left of Bernie’s legacy is a pile of bills and insurance claims, which to me is most unsatisfactory for someone who played such a large role in my life here in Germany.

So I want to tell you about him.

I first met Uncle Bernd, as he became known to my family and friends, in the winter of 1991. The grandmother of the girl who would later be my wife had invited us to Sunday dinner, and what a lavish spread it was. I’ll never forget the three different types of roast they brought into the living room, and me thinking we’ll never finish everything as the veg and gravy were fetched from the kitchen. It was my first experience with the “Bernd Czerolka School of Cooking”, loads of it and then some more on top. I remember Steph saying to her Grandmother that we had to go, and I was so ridiculously thankful as I’d eaten way too much and all I wanted to do was sleep.

Bernd, like most of his generation, did his time in the military, and so with hands, feet, mimic, and sound effects, we spoke of our respective experiences in the army. His service years were spent in the German equivalent of the Royal Engineers and the names of the characters in his company, (Pippin der Kleiner and der Lange Ludwig) would pepper the recollections of his military days throughout the years I knew him. He always held the British Army in high regard, which obviously endeared him to me, and never forgot that the Brits used to buy him duty free cigarettes and booze from the Naafi.

Bernd was a firm believer in breaking down barriers with alcohol, which he managed with all of my family and a lot of my friends. The one time that really sticks in my head was my parent’s first evening babysitting our kids for us. The kids were asleep and Steph and myself were ready to hit the big city, when Bernd turns up at the door.

“Oh, Bernie, we’re just off out,” I said.

“But your parents aren’t,” he answered, smiling. “It’s fine, we’ll be okay, I have whisky,” he said as he walked in. Later on Steph and myself came home to find my father and Bernd deep in conversation in the traditional manner of people who don’t share a common language; hand jiving and repeating words loudly to each other. The job of babysitting had fallen to my mother, whilst the men had bravely taken on the task of international relations, fueled by whisky and willing bonhomie.

When we moved into our second flat, Bernd really came into his own with the renovation work. We wore plastic shopping bags on our heads against the dripping paint and laughed like drunken teenagers about it every time we donned them. It was a joke that never went stale and was the first time I really bonded with the old guy. After that, we were more friends than “forced-together-through-family”, which, as anyone who knows me will know, suited me fine.

His health nose dived after his first heart attack, despite the state of the art pacemaker they put in, and he was never the same again. Mentally he was all there, as cynical, sarcastic, dry, and funny as ever. Physically though, it was all downhill, sadly.

After his closest friend passed away we lost a part of Berni. Though they weren’t married they did everything together, and when she left us his pain was palpable despite the craggy facade he put up every day. The light of his eyes faded and it seemed life for him had turned into something to be endured. Make no mistake, they weren’t married but there was an abundance of love there.

The last few years were not kind to Bernd, but he wasn’t one to complain. I made a point of trying to help him on my very seldom days off, (though Steph visited and helped most days), and tried to be there for him, as he had been there for us in the beginning. Sometimes we’d clear his cellar or flat, sometimes just pick things up from the shops. Sometimes we just sat and talked. After he was moved to a nursing home the end came mercifully fast. For a man who had looked after himself his whole life, the constant waiting for other people to fetch things or tidy up was like his own personal hell. He passed away peacefully in his sleep.

With him went a part of one of the chapters in my life. He was there in the turbulent times when I left the army, a calming voice between the wanton ex soldier, drunk on newfound freedom, and the family who weren’t sure if I was the right one for their daughter, (which I can COMPLETELY understand). He celebrated with us on the birth of our children and was more than just a great uncle, he was a second granddad. When we moved into our first two flats and house he helped with the renovation and in the garden, (boy did he!). He made an effort for every family gathering and he was simply there, a friend; more than a friend, an uncle by choice rather than by blood.

A man of quiet strengths and large appetites, of curmudgeonly insights and boundless generosity, of cynical realism and all too human wishes and hopes. He was simply a good man.

Goodbye Bernd, you will be missed.

 

 

 

 

(I started this piece not long after Bernd’s funeral, on the 15th October. I’ve only just finished it today, hence the delay in posting)

Mercenaries, Muskets and Monkeys.

Bev Allen, author

I will be honest, I added the “monkey” bit because it sounded good, but there is a reason for the mercenaries and the muskets.

NEW BOOK!

Huzzah!

Currently with Dave, my lovely editor and undergoing his rigorous scrutiny is my next offering “The Lord of the Faran Hills”.

This is a bit of a departure for me, because it is fantasy, although fantasy without magic, I reserve magic for the weird stuff like in “A Solemn Curfew”, but it is fantasy and not science fiction.

However, I am returning to a favourite theme…soldiers. I have a soft spot for all things military, having been married to a military historian for quite a few years. Normally my soldiers are regulars, but this time I wanted to explore the world of the soldier of fortune.

Normally these guys get a very bad press and rightly so, but there are many who don’t deserve it…

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Author Torture 2

Mr. Jones is helping us with our inquiries…

Bev Allen, author

Today’s author for torture is Richard Rhys Jones, author of such warm cosy reads as “Division of the Damned” and “The Sisterhood of the Serpent”.

Go here to get the full down load.

http://divisionofthedamned.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-me.html

Richard (Reggie to his mates) is one of my oldest writing buddies, so I have no conscience about throwing into my interrogation chamber.

You are marooned on a desert island and find a magic lamp. You get the traditional three wishes, but keep in mind I’m not letting you off the island, so don’t start pleading or trying to escape. You can only have one practical item, other people will not be allowed and will be taken away and dumped on an island far, far away and the wish forfeited. Smut is permitted if it makes me laugh.

Firstly, hiya Bev 😀

Right, to business. First item would have to be a computer of some sort…

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Night “Music”

My good friend Bev Allen’s blog, take it away, Bev!!

Bev Allen, author

Before I tell you about the next story I need to share a few things. First to quote Terry Pratchett,

“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”    

Second, despite what a certain person claims, I did NOT write this as revenge, I was just inspired.

Definitely not a revenge story.

And yes, I do know what a heavy cold and a medicinal night cap can do.

For three nights running.

Having cleared that up, the story…I’ve called this one “Hush a Bye”, from the old traditional lullaby, the scary one about hanging a baby in a tree and waiting for enough wind to send it crashing to the ground. Don’t believe me?

“Hush a bye baby, on the tree top.

When the wind blows the cradle will rock;

When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,

And down will…

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Concert for Chris Jones

Chris Jones was a talented acoustic blues musician who sadly passed away in the September of 2005, aged 46.

It’s hard to quantify how much influence he held as, like many genres of music,  Blues and Folk hardly ever receive media support from the big corporations. However, it’s safe to say that his talent with a guitar was and still is legendary; and his memory lives on through a festival of his music that’s staged once a year.

The Club, “Bluenote” has been holding a concert in his memory since Chris’ passing. What started out as a way of raising funds for treatment for a much loved and respected musician has now turned into an institution, with bands and musicians coming from all over Europe and America to play.

For the first time ever, I was invited to play with a band whose singer was Irish, guitarists were American and German, bassist was Scottish and harp player, (or mouth organ before anyone becomes confused), was Serbian, the great Slavko Hilvert. Naturally, I was the weakest link being only a passionate amateur, and having only been told the set list five hours before we played… but that’s by the by. I had a great time, (being half drunk and behind the drums is the ONLY way to play the Blues), and saw the usual crowd of guys who I see every year at the gig.

Jon, Chris’ brother, flies in every year from Oceanside, Darin D’onofrio flies in from Maryland, Slavko and his son Filip from Serbia, and a whole swathe of top performers and musicians come from the UK and Germany, and it’s nearly always the same faces. All to pay homage and remember Chris Jones.

The line up this year was:

Friday, 11.11. 2016
– Brother Jon & Michaela Lamparter (Very touching, they sang the song in the link)
– Wilder Pilger (Who actually played on the Saturday, but the formating won’t let me change his position… sorry Florian.)
– Roland Scull (Who was on “The Voice of Germany” the day after, though he didn’t go through)
– Brother Jon & the Bluenote Allstars (me on drums!! Madness)
– Darin D`Onofrio (Maryland, and Italy now and then.)
– Tom Ripphahn (German chap who always claims my drums when it comes to the free jam at the end)
– It´s M.E.(Berlin duo, very polished)

Saturday, 12.11.2016
– Mathew James White (New Zealand, and strangely we didn’t talk about rugby?)
– Kieran Halpin (Irish chap who seems to be on the road like forever!Seriously, the guy has been every where.)
– Christoph Schellhorn (Tirol, who has an extremely strong accent in German, but sounds Irish when he speaks.)
– Darin D`Onofrio (Hey, he’s from the States, let’s use him again…)
– Brother Jon & the Bluenote Allstars (Me again…a lot better this time, having already played the songs once before…)
– Slavko & Filip Hilvert (Wales played Serbia as we were on stage… there was a minor amount of rivalry after the game 😀 😀 😀 )
– Wullie Wullschläger, Sonja Tonn & Jürgen Hoffmann (All three absolutely brilliant in their respective roles.)

…AND not forgetting Yogi Yockusch who makes him money as a percussionist and did a spontaneous slot on day two,  and the Bluenote Allstars, with Freddy Mccorkey from Ireland on vocals, Jon Jones and Klauss Bergmann on guitars, Tommy Gallagher from Scotland on bass, and YT on the congos and bongoes.

You see, it isn’t just about them playing for money, that’s not even a tenth of the whole thing as the profit made goes to a charity. They fly and drive over because Chris meant something to them. His acoustic guitar work still challenges, his songs still inspire hope, sadness, melancholy and happiness. His work with Steve Baker is the sort of music covered by every classic Blues/Rock formation, good old foot-stompin’, 4/4 rhythm, 12-bar structure with lyrics stronger in feeling than artistic fluidity; and yet his acoustic tracks have you breathless at every pause, strained by the emotion behind the words. He was a name in the European Blues scene that drew crowds; people who were in “the know” and not beholden to the soulless electronic music factory.

And now he’s gone, killed in his own words by the tobacco industry. The world will never know what could have been with Mr. Jones as he left us far too early. What will go on though, is his memory.

This is one of his finest tracks, which this year was covered by a nice German lady who sang it beautifully in clear cut English with a soft Irish lilt, and Chris’ brother. They opened the first night and it set the whole scene for what was to come.

Listen to the song, read the lyrics, and see what Chris Jones was about.

Thanks for reading.

Reggie.

Thank You by Chris Jones

Verse 1

Look at that junkie, strung-out, on what God only knows
He ain’t washed or shaved in a couple of days and there are stains upon his clothes
Now it ain’t smack or that cocaine-crack that’s brought him to his knees
But the fully legal product of the tobacco companies
The tobacco companies

Chorus

So thank you R.J. Reynolds for helpin’ me look so cool
And thank you Phillip Morris for keepin’ me company after school
And thank you Brown & Williamson, l hope you spent my money well
When this is past and I’ve smoked my last I will see you all in hell
l will see you all in hell

Verse 2

Now this junkie’s not on a street corner, or sleepin’ in an alleyway
ln fact, l saw him in my own living room about 3 A.M. today
His hands were shakin’, his will was breakin’ and his body bathed in sweat
Take a good look, people, this is as low as a man can get
As low as a man can get

Chorus

So thank you R.J. Reynolds for helpin’ me look so cool
And thank you Phillip Morris for keepin’ me company after school
And thank you Brown & Williamson, l hope you spent my money well
When this is past and I’ve smoked my last I will see you all in hell
l will see you all in hell

Verse 3

Now, l’ve got my own two shoulders upon which to place the blame
But the companies’ false piety, well it bugs me just the same
And let us not forget our state and federal government
Before I go I’d like to know where all those taxes went, where all those taxes went

Chorus

So thank you R.J. Reynolds for helpin’ me look so cool
And thank you Phillip Morris for keepin’ me company after school
And thank you Brown & Williamson, l hope you spent my money well
When this is past and I’ve smoked my last I will see you all in hell
l will see you all in hell, I will see you all in Hell.

Yma o hyd.

It really is time for me to go home.

I haven’t been to Wales for over a year now,  since April 2014 to be precise, and that’s far too long. My parents aren’t growing any younger and my nieces and nephew are growing up at an alarming rate. I miss them all.

A lot of my German colleagues don’t actually see any difference between being Welsh and being English; in fact a lot of them think Wales is a part of England, (as do a lot of my English friends too, but that’s a different thing entirely).

When I’m asked to explain the difference, I hark back to the old favourite about the Welsh being the original Brits, and the English a product of the continental invasion of our sacred isle. However, that’s not strictly true.

Apart from the fact the gene pool has been diluted into an international slurry by two millennium of human migration, saying that the Welsh are Brits and the English Teuto/Franco/Nordic mongrels is grossly unfair. I think the main difference is in the heart of the language, and this can be captured by that one word that dominates my life at times like this: Hiraeth.

Merriam-Webster defines Hiraeth as, “a homesickness for a home you cannot return to, or that never was

The University of Wales, Lampeter attempts to define it as homesickness tinged with grief or sadness over the lost or departed. It is a mix of longing, yearning, nostalgia, wistfulness, or an earnest desire for the Wales of the past. ( Taken from Wikipedia)

Both definitions do the word justice. The thing is, in that one word we see a difference in our national makeup. The majority of words we use in any language are taken from the generations before us. I know a lot of English mates who are sentimental about their home, but the English language has only ever come up with, “Homesickness”, and to me, that comes across as being too two-dimensional. It portrays the stiff upper lip, the disdain for any show of sentimentality that the English, (upper classes) are meant to be proud of.

In Hiraeth we have a word that seeks to go deeper than the superficial emotion of missing ones home. Obviously home isn’t just where we once lived, it’s the core of our heart, the place we can gather strength from, and where we can trace our own personal histories. Homesickness is an apt enough word to describe that yearning. However, Hiraeth goes a tad deeper; it’s missing everything that once defined you, your families, home, heritage and the memories of those that surrounded you at that time.

Homesickness is to the English speaker a longing for home. Hiraeth to the Welsh speaker, a longing for all that personally once was and never will be again.

I’m not a Welsh speaker, despite the best efforts of my gran and the school system. I have enough problems with German so let’s leave it there. However, I do love Welsh culture, and what brought me to this rambling post about missing home was a song I heard on Youtube this morning.

I watched a video about the flooding of the Tryweryn valley in 1965. The short history of that shameful episode is that the Liverpool City Council sought and received a Parliamentary bill to create a reservoir in the Tryweryn valley. Because it was approved by Parliament, the Liverpool City Council didn’t need the approval of the Welsh Local Authorities, and the village of Tryweryn was doomed to be drowned without even asking the people who lived there.

They say that the ill-fated fight to stop the building of the dam and reservoir was the beginning of the Welsh Nationalist Movement and the Free Wales Army, but that’s for cleverer heads than I to contemplate. The families were moved out and rehoused, the graveyard was relocated and the valley flooded. Just as a footnote, in 2005 the Liverpool City Council released an apology about their behaviour and handling of the matter. However, I thnk it’s fair to say that the Parliamentary bill on its own showed the Welsh, and the world, what the English thought of their neighbours at that time.

Anyway, I digress… as ever.

Under the video was a song that, to me, is one of the greatest Welsh songs ever. For me, “Mae’r Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau” is the best anthem in the world, a song that can bring tears to any proud Welshman’s eye, I know it does to me.  However, “Yma O Hyd”, by Dafydd Iwan, with its cleverly crafted lyrics and stirring chorus comes a close second.

I first heard it around 1985, and though I probably liked it, it didn’t hold any real meaning to me at that time. In fact, I probably didn’t like it as I was young and had other more earthly things on my mind. It was only later in life when I had children of my own and I realised I had left my roots behind me, that the words and sentiment behind the song  hit home.

I listened to it and thought back to the first time I heard of Dafydd iwan, in a guardroom on a cassette player, with some unknown corporal trying to tell me its background. I never knew who he was, someone in HQ SQN who left not long after I joined, but he was fired up to be going back home and his passion for Wales showed me just how shallow my idea of national pride actually was.

This is the song, (the link is the green writing), with some subtitles under it for the English speakers … namely me 😦

Yma O Hyd

Yma o Hyd

Dwyt ti’m yn cofio Macsen,
does neb yn ei nabod o.
Mae mil a chwe chant o flynyddoedd,
yn amser rhy hir i’r co’.
Pan aeth Magnus Maximus o Gymru,
yn y flwyddyn tri-chant-wyth-tri,
a’n gadael yn genedl gyfan,
a heddiw – wele ni!

Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd.

Chwythed y gwynt o’r Dwyrain,
rhued y storm o’r môr,
hollted y mellt yr wybren,
a gwaedded y daran “encôr”!
Llifed dagrau’r gwangalon,
a llyfed y taeog y llawr.
Er dued yw’r fagddu o’n cwmpas,
ry’n ni’n barod am doriad y wawr!

Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd.

Cofiwn i Facsen Wledig
adael ein gwlad yn un darn
A bloeddiwn gerbron y gwledydd,
“Mi fyddwn yma tan Ddydd y Farn!”
Er gwaetha pob Dic Siôn Dafydd,
er gwaetha ‘rhen Fagi a’i chriw,
byddwn yma hyd ddiwedd amser,
a bydd yr iaith Gymraeg yn fyw!

Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth.
Ry’n ni yma o hyd,
ry’n ni yma o hyd,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth,
er gwaetha pawb a phopeth…

 English translation
Still here

You don’t remember Macsen,
nobody knows him.
One thousand and six hundred years,
a time too long to remember.
When Magnus Maximus left Wales,
in the year 383,
leaving us a whole nation,
and today – look at us!

We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here.

Let the wind blow from the East,3
let the storm roar from the sea,
let the lightning split the heavens,
and the thunder shout “encore!”
Let the tears of the faint-hearted flow,
and the servile lick the floor.
Despite the blackness around us,
we are ready for the breaking of the dawn!

We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here.

We remember that Macsen the Emperor
left our country in one whole piece.
And we shall shout before the nations,
“We’ll be here until Judgement Day!”
Despite every Dic Siôn Dafydd,
despite old Maggie and her crew,
we’ll be here until the end of time,
and the Welsh language will be alive!

We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything.
We are still here,
we are still here,
in spite of everyone and everything,
in spite of everyone and everything…

Yep, time I went home.

Reg.

11014830_10153689654848642_491997711548806124_o

Waterloo.

A poem about regimental gatherings.

It’s strange, my time as a soldier lasted seven years and three months, but its shadow stretches far over anything I’ve done since then. I’ve been employed in my current job for nigh on fifteen years now, and though it’s a good firm that strive to bond the workforce together, there will never be the same camaraderie that I experience every time I meet up with the lads I served with.

Waterloo

Like pilgrims to a holy shrine

We gathered in our masses,

Dressed in blue, to Radetzky’s beat,

We charged our empty glasses.

To Waterloo and QDG

We toasted through the night,

And in an act of comradeship

We reaffirmed what’s right.

That in our celebration

We recognize the past,

And friendships forged as Dragoon Guards

Were cast in steel to last.

So lantern swung, and sandbag drawn

We told our tales of yore.

Of characters and postings,

In peacetime and in war.

And clouded in nostalgia,

We strengthened common ground.

Fuelled by ale and history shared

Old unit ties were crowned

We commemorate Waterloo

To pledge fraternity.

Pro rege et patria

Sed semper QDG.